Honeycrisp Apples

I went looking for the Harvest Moon at the autumnal equinox last night.  Through my window the sky held promise of a full moon, but when I stepped into the wee hours, low clouds were reflecting the glare of corner streetlights not moon-shine.  It is cold and wet where I am, and lonely dark.  I live 150 miles from my family and I commute every few days or so as all our schedules allow.  It is the sacrifice for having a job, which in this day and age, is a valuable commodity.  I don’t mind it so much except on the days of lonely dark.

In this hemisphere, we move toward the time when darkness consumes an increasingly greater proportion of each day.  I find renewal in change, so the autumn season is always sacred to me.  When it comes on gradually with the slow-motion of deepening colors and crisping air, I hear my heart savoring the determination of God’s movement like the crunch of a honeycrisp apple.  On days when winter ice blasts through my thin skin, I hold myself tighter across the shoulders and shudder through all the encounters of my day like a bear seeking to hibernate.

It is a 2 forward 1 back approach that I’m afraid is characteristic of much that is uniquely me.  When I get my own way, moving forward is effortless and carefree.  Daily world events flow smoothly and peace is the order of things.  On the 1 back days, it’s a different story.  Cranky and snarly are two more apropos adjectives.  My only salvation is that when the math is done, I’m still 1 forward.

Such is the ebb and flow of the spiritual life and this prodigal daughter.  To move 2 forward is to intentionally step away from this one spot that is safe and secure.  Should I?  Probably.  I will return with a 1 back at some point, whether by choice or circumstance.  But it is no matter as long as I continue the momentum.


About Elaine Menardi

Heading off on a new adventure! I solve problems and make ideas happen.

4 responses »

  1. susan says:

    Brave to allow yourself such openess. Thanks for sharing.
    Letting your inner writer-self loose. I also appreciate autumn and take time to thank God for the amazing season. Changing leaves bring joy from their beauty but
    a sad reminder of approaching winter; much like life, ebb
    and flow. yes.

  2. elmenardi says:

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. May autumn fill you with renewal too! Peace 🙂

  3. Donna says:

    Yet, it is during the dark lonely times that, if we can move beyond ourselves, we become aware of Christ’s ever-presence. The movement from self-absorption to Christ-absorption is much like the movement of the seasons; we humans seem to pendulum between self and God yet, hopefully, manage that constant albeit awkward forward progress of two steps forward, one step back.

    • elmenardi says:

      Thanks for your insight… for me it is so often an awkward process… perhaps it’s what helps keep me slightly off-balance and ready to move at God’s prompting. Autumn peace and prayers to you 🙂

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