I am afraid today… a lot of people call me brave but I am just a regular person.
Last night’s television commercials sent me over the edge. I should have turned it off but I was working on some craft projects and tried not to pay attention. It was all the Medicare ads that got to me… at every break no matter what channel was on. Enroll now! Change your plan now! In a few weeks I may not have any insurance plan… I am accustomed to a feeling of security.
I know that I am supposed to believe that Jesus’ life on earth means that you understand what it’s like to be human, to be afraid. But I’m having a hard time with that… Jesus didn’t have to worry about having or not having health insurance. The price of gas was a non-issue… and the up’s and down’s of the stock market didn’t affect his retirement plan. The Bible makes it sound like people back then really cared for each other… that they were a true community giving and taking to make sure that everyone had enough.
I really want to believe that you know what my situation is like but if I let my logical, rational brain walk even one step out the front door, it all falls apart.
Do you remember that woman who called into the Christian radio station the other day? She was asking for prayers for her husband who was just diagnosed with terminal cancer. She was scared and crying because she knew he didn’t have much longer to live. The radio DJ opened up his Bible and proudly quoted the passage “By his stripes we are saved; by his wounds we are healed; by his death we have been released from our captivity.” Great. But what does that say about dying from cancer? I don’t know if that woman felt comforted or not; I didn’t hear her on the radio again. Do you?
I know you can do anything from up there. I know you know the plight of my human weakness because you sent your son. I know your spirit is here to guide and guard my steps. It’s just so hard to believe sometimes. The worldly voices that mediate your words to me are so insulated-therefore-disconnected from the realness of my life.
I really hope there’s more to you than they say.