In Catholic-world we have this beloved image of people sitting down to eat at the table of the Lord.  Let’s use that today.

Last Sunday, I walked into church and took my seat at the table.  Now, this was not my usual seat nor my usual table… because the Mass I usually go to was cancelled in lieu of the Confirmation Mass later that night.  Which was fine… I can cozy up in other restaurants.

So I sat down at the table (my pew) / put my napkin in my lap (glanced at the bulletin headlines) / looked at the menu (what’s the opening song?) / Broccoli today! (the same Easter song we’ve been singing since it was written in 1891.)

Now broccoli is okay… but if God had never invented those little green trees it would have been fine with me.  Truth is… I prefer to eat broccoli raw [crunchy and chewy] not steamed and mushy so it disintegrates as soon as it comes between two enamel-molar-surfaces.  That kind of cooking should be reserved for a nice roast.

And I’m not especially fond of plain broccoli… give me a tangy ranch dressing or a creamy cheese sauce and you’ve got me hooked.  Otherwise, I’ll choke it down as best I can… it’s a fairly healthy vegetable they tell me.

So Mass starts… the only thing on the menu is broccoli and they set a big pile of a dish in front of me.

Oh!  They’re steaming it at my table! (the organ music goes on and on!)
It’s getting soft.  (heavy sigh… stand/sit/stand again/sit)
I’m ready to eat now…  Oooo!  Cheese sauce! (the homily starts… “I got an email with a link to a YouTube video called the Power of Words.”)
Hmmm… maybe I can try a bite.  (description of the video here).
Wait!  I want some of that cheese!  (too late… the homily veers off in the other direction… no cheese for you!)
This broccoli is getting cold.  (“And now let’s talk about Divine Mercy…)
The steamers are coming back…  (more organ/this song from the 17th century)
This broccoli is turning pale… it’s wilting as we speak.  (on and on and on…)
My broccoli looks dead.  (Let us go in peace!)

Thank you Jesus that I don’t have to eat the broccoli!

Let’s go have a hamburger 🙂


About Elaine Menardi

Heading off on a new adventure! I solve problems and make ideas happen.

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