I’m tired of being brave all the time.

I was chatting with a friend the other day when I heard myself say… I just want a little routine in my life… a little of the same ole, same ole.  I am tired of having to be brave all the time.  He echoed the sentiment and said he’d like that in his life also.

(If there is any word that does not describe me well, it is predictable… just ask those who really know me.  So to hear myself say out loud that I want predictability just didn’t sound right.)

Organizing the Fridge

I of course, meant that I hadn’t found a comfortable way to organize my new fridge.  My friend of course, was saying that he’d finally unpacked his last box thinking that he was going to stay put for a little longer.  He’s a priest and has been in three different cities/parishes over the last four years.  With all of the ministry work in between for both of us, we have found ourselves on the road for much of the recent past.

In some respects, the idea of settling down is entirely boring… in other respects, it looms on the horizon as a welcomed heavenly ideal way of life.

And so… if I dig down a little deeper into myself… peel back some of the layers… uncover and unpack some of the emotions that have flooded my heart in the last couple of weeks… I rediscover something that keeps coming back during my prayer time…

This is liminal space.

A sacred place between what has been and what will be… the threshold of business-as-usual on the verge of that-which-is-unknown… that very tenuous first step of a new journey… the betwixt and between.

Transformation happens in Liminal Space

All transformation takes place here.

And for me… there is a certain falling-apart-inside that happens as I move toward the threshold.  It’s a little-bit-hurting-inside… and I want some solid stable ground beneath my feet right now, at least for a while.  Is that too much to ask God?!?!

This pattern of falling apart precedes every transition to a new level of faith.  If you’re not prepared to live in that temporary chaos, to hold the necessary anxiety that chaos entails, you never move to deeper levels of faith or prayer or relationship with God.  Notice that almost every theophany (revelation of God) in the Bible begins with “Do not be afraid.”  If we give in to our fear, we will never be able to move forward.

paraphrased from Everything Belongs (page 134) by Richard Rohr, OFM 

Some native peoples call this Crazy Time.  I can relate!

Tell me please:  How do you handle being in liminal space?

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About Elaine Menardi

Heading off on a new adventure! I solve problems and make ideas happen.

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