Don’t try this at home.
It’s been an insane year! All of 2011. After last week’s Power-Move, I am sitting in the aftermath waiting for the dust of my harried life to settle… expecting a new “situation” to emerge at any moment.
I live at full-throttle. I was going to add “for the past 20 years…” but actually… I think I’ve always been that way. I can’t remember a time when life was like a lazy Sunday afternoon. But maybe that’s just because I’m old and have forgotten.
Not the Energy Drink
This full-throttle life is not busy-for-the-sake-of-being-busy. I don’t manufacture reasons or circumstances that keep me on the go. It’s not like the sugared-up caffeinated drink that revs your heart rate and gives you the jitters.
No… my full-throttle life has been me… responding. To God. To family. To friends. When people need me, I’m there. No questions asked. I respond.
You can probably guess the kinds of responses that have been required over the years. Extra hours of work to finish the project. Helping others do Power-Moves of their own when they lost their home. Driving cross-country to pick-up / deliver stuff. Sitting at coffee shops and listening to heart-break. Traveling around the world to help young people move out of their comfort zones. Taking a week off to babysit kids while parents go to appointments at the Mayo clinic. And on and on…
Interwoven in all the physical chaos has been emotion… good and bad… easy and hard… joyful and sad. This has been my full-throttle life.
I try really hard to accept it all in stride… to do what God asks. To love tenderly… seek justice… walk humbly with God.
But sometimes I get cranky and whiny. I think everyone does at some point.
Only passionate hearts need apply.
I’ve been waiting for life to get back to normal… I’ve been wanting everything to slow down… I’ve been longing for some sort of routine to settle in… but I am realizing that if that happens, I will sacrifice the inner passion that drives me.
A predictable routine of a day just doesn’t suit me. My spirit would die.
I am passionate, ardent and single-minded in my yearning to be at one with God… that takes the form of serving the people who come into my life… which so far has led to a busy, frenetic, sometimes totally chaotic existence. I do nothing by halves.
“God lives outside the comfort zone, beyond hedged bets, in risks accepted, in dangers embraced. Access to his presence is limited to a passionate heart… Only passionate hearts need apply.”
page 155 in God Hunger by John Kirvan