i really didn’t feel like going yesterday
… to church that is. that’s a risky confession to make to the cybersphere. i know you all read these blogs… but you don’t comment very much. so that makes it hard to know what kind of person you think i am. hopefully by now you realize that i’m just a run-of-the-mill / ordinary / standard / struggling-to-stay-faithful believer.
yes i believe… but some days it’s hard to sit in the pews.
but the readings hit me hard
from isaiah 62: you shall be called “my delight”.
from 1 corinthians 12: there are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; there are are different forms of service but the same Lord; there are different workings but the same God who produces all of them in everyone. to each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit.
from john 2: the headwaiter tasted the water that had become wine…
and then fr. bob’s message… at least the one that i heard:
god delights in me. if i give my gifts over to god, they will be transformed from water into wine.
i’ve been trying for a long time
… to let jesus change me from water into wine… to let god transform this mud-and-spit self that i am into someone who loves and wants to make the world a better place. because i can’t do it on my own. i can only give myself to god and allow the miracle to happen.
so all i can do right now is keep giving you my gifts. keep trying to follow where you lead. keep working to have faith amidst my doubt. keep trusting that indeed you have a plan and you will provide.
this faith thing is hard for us humans.