I know who you are.
Some of you have deep trust in God. I know you are out there because you inspire me with your stories and wisdom. I am trying really hard to live by your example.
But it’s not easy… and my everyday trust level seems to shift according to what is going on. Some days are easier to trust God than others. And those are usually the days when the world is spinning in my favor.
The hard days are a different story. I have trouble trusting when I can’t see the road ahead… when details don’t settle into place how I expect or want… when I don’t get my own way.
But when I can trust that God has my back, I’m a much happier person.
Death and Taxes
I did a quick run through my tax prep program yesterday. I was anticipating the worst case scenario… aka, I will have to pay a lot of money… and I don’t know where that money is going to come from. Last year was an insane financial accounting year for us. Insane!
When my software came up with the final calculation, turns out we’ll get a good refund. Totally unexpected! I let out a huge sigh of relief… and my whole body actually felt physically lighter. I have been holding onto that stress for a long while.
And in the end, I learn the same lesson that comes back to me over and over again. God provides.
I don’t know why I can’t seem to trust that lesson all the time. God always provides for me and my family. Always.
And yet, I forget. It’s so easy to forget in the rush of stressful busy days.
So what’s it gonna take?
In prayer this morning, I hear God ask me point-blank: So what’s it gonna take for you to trust me?
I didn’t have a good answer but I said… Well… until I get it I guess.
So I’m working on it. For Lent. This is one of my primary tasks. To remember how good God is to me and my family. Hopefully it will sink in deep.