Chopped

There is a circumstance going on in my life right now that has chopped me at the knees. To be quite honest, my self-esteem and confidence are about shredded. Things have been done and words have been said that have caused me much pain and heartache.

I haven’t responded to any of it yet because I know that I would lash out in anger and none of it would be pretty. Or kind.

I don’t like to be ugly or mean-spirited so I try to avoid exposing my shadow side to the world unnecessarily.

I’ve been praying about the best way to handle this situation… how to respond in a way that honors myself / is firm and professional and honest / but also gentle-hearted.

I have thought of words I want to say / actions I want to take. I have way-too-over-obsessed on all this and I need to let go and allow karma to work its bite-you-in-the-butt magic.

Driving

GiraffesYesterday on the way to work, I was thinking about one particular thing that I want to do in response.

My guard was down… because the answer came from my heart instantly:

I want to do that because I want them to hurt like I’ve been hurt.

Well… that was honest… but * OUCH * !
How can I be so cruel and harsh?

Do you want to forgive them?
Yes. I really do want to forgive / let go / and move on.

Or do you want to be a person of forgiveness?
Oooohhh… double * * OUCH * * !

The two questions coming from some deep place in my soul crystallized the choices at hand into something much bigger than simply dealing with this situation.

Do I want to spend the rest of my life totally focused on myself and all the ways I’ve been mistreated / will be hurt by other people’s words and actions?

Or do I want to be a person who cultivates a spirit of generosity and kindness in all that I am and do so that maybe I won’t take offense in the first place?

I am reminded again of what I learned recently from Fr. Richard Rohr:

Only the false self takes offense.

Karma

My false self is working its bite-you-in-the-butt karma magic on me today… big time!

I want to be a whole person of forgiveness.

Now that the words spill out from my keyboard, my task at hand is obvious. Don’t know why I was obsessing so feverishly. The answer is pretty simple:

Do the right thing and take the high road.

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About Elaine Menardi

Heading off on a new adventure! I solve problems and make ideas happen.

6 responses »

  1. Marian says:

    Remind yourself that you did nothing wrong!! The people who hurt you are too self centered !

  2. Ronald of Richmond says:

    WWJD – Time is on your side – DLTBGYD – See you soon

  3. dan says:

    Ah, wisdom.
    As Jesus said, Turn the other cheek. He didn’t say it would be easy or painless.
    I’m on the road but call if you need a friend.

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